It's nice here. Really nice.

It really is very, very nice.

It's hot, but with a cool breeze, the sky is blue & the sea is green. The locals are friendly too, no-one has tried to push me over yet! I'm thinking of re-locating the office, as the serenity levels are quite frankly compelling. 

The architecture is amazing - when you fly in you see how little high-rise development there is & it makes a huge difference on the ground. There are lots of clever, quirky modern buildings mixed in with the original Colonial & Victorian stuff, & plenty of space to see it as you approach. This place is beautifully laid out, with wide pavements & roads & lots of trees & green spaces, that make walking around a real joy. 

Cathy, Princess & myself spent yesterday evening on the top floor of the Shangrila Hotel sipping Bellini's, Cosmopolitans & Champagne, while watching the sun set over the harbour. Once we had sufficiently re-hydrated ourselves we swept away for a rather classy curry. Splendid.

Tonight we're off to Lunar Park, then Manly tomorrow.

Just in case you think this is all very refined & sedate, I should tell you that the photograph I have of my 2 beautiful friends showing off their bottoms on the way back to the apartment last night won't be included in the Blog. Probably.

General Outlook: Good to super.

Vertigo Level: Much reduced by alcohol.

Fashion Direction: Like America - all over the place.

 

Smoke gets in your eyes, but incense dust gets everywhere!

The public transport system here is brilliant - today I've been on trams, trains & ferries, & none of the journeys has cost more than 40p. They also have the Chinese equivalent of an Oyster Card.

The trams are lovely-they're the original Victorian ones & are made mainly of wood, just like the Star Ferries that cross the harbour every 10 minutes. The trains are very different though - super modern & all in chrome, with flashing lights that show you the direction of travel & next stop & everything!

Getting around does seem to be a contact sport though, with people pushing & shoving, even if you're not in the way. The large crowd I was part of had to wait nearly 3 minutes (that's outrageous-we can only wait 10 seconds for anything!) for a ferry to Hong Kong from Kowloon, & when it came into sight, I couldn't stop myself saying quite loudly "BUNDLE" as everyone swarmed en masse to get right up against the barrier in case they were second or even third on. People were actually running onto the boat. It's really funny being the tallest person as you get to enjoy so much more of the action!

I smell of incense! I've visited 2 Buddhist temples today & was quite tempted to start setting fire to stuff & waving it around myself - what an exciting way to worship. The karma here has a pretty swift turnaround though, as I got superbly hustled by a monk lurking with religious intent in one of the subways. After accepting the very shiny gold "token of regular bowel movements & nice shiny hair" or whatever the heck it was, he then invited me to sign his little book & donate 500 Dollars to help restore the temple. Do I look like a complete chump fella? I think not. I gave him 10 dollars & told him he should think himself lucky that I'm not local, or I'd be round at his place on a regular basis looking for special prayers & free paper to set fire to.

I may have accidentally boosted the black economy in a small way, as I have purchased a pair of spanking G-Star combat trousers for 140 dollars or 14 of your Earth Pounds, & a most excellent utility watch for the bargain price of 90 Dollars or 9 of Gordon Brown's weak & feeble Great British Pounds.

Crack on - tomorrow evening I leave for Sydney. Please let it be less than 30 degrees, as I'd quite like to be able to go outside in daylight.

Local Beverage of Choice: Tsing Tao Beer - I've had 2 this evening.
Prevailing Skin Condition: Red cheeks from air pollution
Local Interaction: Mainly male waiters, interested in my hardware.

Interesting Fact No.1 

The bacteria that caused the plague of 1894 originated in the slums of Hong Kong.
Interesting Fact No.2 

It appears to be traditional to finish an evening meal with a glass of hot water.

All the email/blog commands are in Chinese!

Blimey! It's all happening here. The bus trip from the airport onto Hong Kong Island was awesome-they've done a lot of building here, with stunning clusters of skyscrapers & linked supension bridges, so everything is shiny-new & looks like no-one's home.

When you get onto the island though it's much more like the James Bond films. In the harbour there are hundreds of tiny old junks held together with string & tarpaulins, next to massive freight ships from all over the world & derricks as far as the eye can see. I wanted to ask the driver if he fancied a quick fist fight on the docks, but he was quite a lot smaller than me, so it didn't seem fair. I saw a heron & an egret fishing off one of the piers, but sadly no penguins yet.

I've had a good recce of the Victoria Park area & came across a big street market, which was loud, exotic & very smelly! There were lots of stalls selling animal parts that I had no wish to look at too closely, an awful lot of unidentified sea-faring livestock & some truly enormous & vaguely intimidating  fruit. A lot of the stall holders were shouting about their wares (I assume!) & everyone was pushing & shoving & getting quite hands-on about everything. Strangely, most of the stall holders wear sporting blue-tooth head sets. It's all very refreshing after shopping in John Lewis for so long.

Appropriate Clothing Index: Long sleeve t-shirt & jacket, light to no vest.

Altitude:    17th Floor, no glass sided elevator.

Outlook:    Optimistic & excited, but with some tiredness from the West.

There is a point to all this, I'm not just off on a jolly.

I've got 6 pairs of khaki combat shorts, a fistful of foreign dollars & a large packet of fig rolls. Excellent, I'm ready.

Going on holiday is all very well & can be quite relaxing if you don't get a rash, but it's a bit pointless really. Just wandering about in ill-fitting clothing consuming Callipos in various places of natural beauty is not particularly fulfilling for the sophisticated modern woman, so in order that I do lose my competitive edge, or lapse into slothful behaviour, I have decided to add an element of challenge to my latest sojourn.

I would like to befriend a penguin. This is not some idle whimsy, but something I've been steering my life path towards for some time now, albeit with relatively no success. I'm fairly sure I'll have some contact with a penguin in Hong Kong, but it's likely to be in some kind of dumpling & consumption is not the aim.

I have devised a points system as follows:
1. Seeing a penguin from a distance 1 point
2. Seeing a penguin close up 2 points
3. Sidling up to within 10 feet of a penguin 5 points
4. Being in any way "flippered" by a penguin 10 points
5. Stroking a penguin 100 points
6. Luring one into my rucksack or into a waiting getaway vehicle 10 million points

I hope they sell bloater paste overseas.